How to Respond to a Loved One’s Suicide Attempt

Why does a person attempt suicide? 

It can be difficult to understand why your loved one attempted suicide and you may not always find clear answers. Every situation is unique.  

In these moments, a person may feel trapped and unable to see a way forward. This perception can limit their ability to consider solutions or ask for help. Suicide may then appear not as a choice, but as a way to end their suffering. 

A suicide attempt is never caused by a single factor. It often results from several factors that build up over time and can lead to significant emotional distress.  

Remember that, even when the distress is very real, alternatives exist and support can make a difference.  

As a loved one, you don’t need to understand everything to be supportive. Being present, listening without judgment and encouraging the person to seek support are already important ways to help.

Take time to acknowledge your emotions so you can better support your loved one 

A loved one’s suicide attempt can bring up a wide range of emotions and reactions. Thayt’s why it’s essential to take some time to care for yourself as well.  

You may experience confusion, guilt, avoidance, shame, sadness, anger or isolation. You may also find yourself having thoughts such as: 
 

Questioning the suicide attempt or blaming yourself  

 

• “How could they do this to us?” 
• “I didn’t love them enough, watch them closely enough or listen closely enough. What could I have done to prevent this?”  
• “They’re just trying to get attention.” 

  

Worrying about the future or not knowing how to react  

 

• “Will they try again?” 
• “If we pretend it didn’t happen, maybe it will go away.” 
• “I have to keep this a secret.” 
• “It’s not my problem—someone else can take care of it.” 

These thoughts and emotions are common and normal. They reflect the impact this event can have on you.    

In such a difficult situation, however, these thoughts and feelings can sometimes shape how you respond to your loved one. These reactions are human and understandable, but they may be hard for the person to hear, and they can get in the way of communication. 

Taking the time to recognize what you’re feeling can help you respond in a more supportive way.  

Reactions to avoid 

Even when emotions feel overwhelming, keep in mind that your loved one needs support. 

Try to be mindful of your own feelings and avoid reacting in ways that could shut down communication or lead your loved one to withdraw or react with anger. Examples of reactions and comments to avoid include: 
 

• Panicking: “This can’t be happening. I don’t know what to do. What are we going to do?” 
• Insulting: “You’re a real psychopath.” 
• Criticizing: “That was such a stupid thing to do.” 
• Preaching or lecturing: “You know, you shouldn’t have done that. You should have asked for help.” 
• Ignoring what happened: “If we act like nothing happened, it will go away.” 
• Abandoning your loved one: “I can’t handle this. I have to leave.” 
• Punishing your loved one: “I’m not speaking to you until you pull yourself together.” 
• Dramatizing the situation: “This is the worst thing you could have done.” 
• Oversimplifying the problem or offering quick fixes: “You just need medication and then you’ll feel like yourself again.” 
• Reacting with anger or resentment: “I can’t believe you did this to us.” 
• Making the person feel guilty or selfish: “How did you think I would feel?” 

What should you say or do after a suicide attempt? 

It’s normal not to know what to say during your first conversations after a suicide attempt. When someone is experiencing intense emotional distress, they often need to feel heard and understood before they’re ready to consider solutions. Take the time to listen, ask open-ended questions that encourage discussion and acknowledge what the person is going through without immediately trying to fix the situation. 

Create a welcoming and supportive space for your loved one 

1. Create a safe space  

Try to create an environment where your loved one feels comfortable talking and feels heard without judgment. This shows that you are there to support and accept them and it encourages open conversation. 
 

2. Use empathetic language 

Choose words that show your presence, your care and willingness to listen: 
 

• “I’m sorry you’ve been hurting so much. I’m really glad you’re still here.” 
• “I’m here for you. You can talk to me whenever you need to.” 
• “I care about you and I want to help. Tell me what I can do to support you.” 

Practical ways to support your loved one 

After taking the time to understand what your loved one is experiencing, working together to identify practical strategies can provide meaningful support. 
 

1. Help your loved one choose small steps toward feeling better  

 

The difficulties they’re facing did not appear overnight. It’s normal for your loved one to need time and support to cope with the situation, one step at a time.  

You can support them by helping them identify small actions that may improve their well-being. Even simple steps can serve as an accessible starting point.  

   

2. Remove items that could be used in a suicide attempt  

It’s recommended that you make your loved one’s environment safer by removing any items that could be used in a future suicide attempt.  

 

3. Seek support for yourself and your loved one 

Don’t’ hesitate to reach out to trusted family members, friends or other people in your support network. Leaning on others can help you better support your loved one and avoid carrying the burden alone.

Remember that you’re not expected to take on the role of a counsellor, psychologist or doctor. Encourage your loved one to seek professional support. 

 

4. Encourage your loved one to create a safety plan 

 

A safety plan is a recognized suicide prevention tool. It’s a personalized plan that helps a person prepare for times when suicidal thoughts become overwhelming.  
 

Creating a safety plan can help both you and your loved one feel better prepared and know what to do if suicidal thoughts return. 
 

Take care of yourself, now and over the long term  

Whether you’re a parent, sibling, friend or colleague, it’s important to take care of yourself during this difficult time and in the months ahead. 

Supporting someone who has attempted suicide can be emotionally demanding and stressful. It’s important to remember that watching over someone 24/7 is not possible.  You also need care and support. This is not a situation you have to face alone. 

Try to surround yourself with people you trust, such as family members or friends with whom you can talk about what you’re experiencing. 

Support services are available not only for people experiencing suicidal thoughts, but also for their loved ones.
  
You can contact a suicide.ca counsellor: 
 

• By chat

• By text at 53 53 53 

You can also contact the Québec Suicide Prevention Line at 1-866-277-3553.  

These services are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and are staffed by qualified counsellors who are comfortable discussing suicide openly and without judgment. Their support can help you through this difficult time. 

You can also contact the suicide prevention centre in your area. Many suicide prevention centres offer services specifically for family members and friends. 

If you’re concerned about your own emotional or mental well-being, don’t wait until things become overwhelming. Explore the resources available on taking care of yourself while supporting someone who is thinking about suicide. 

 

Additional Resources for You 

Suicide.ca offers several resources for people supporting someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. You may find the following pages helpful: 
 

• Recognizing signs of distress
• Talking about suicide with someone
• Supporting someone in difficulty
• Helping someone recover
• Respecting your limits and taking care of yourself

 

Resources for Your Loved One 

Your loved one can also find help and guidance in the I’m thinking about suicide section.