Mental Health Support for Men: Breaking the Silence and Seeking Help

In Quebec, an average of three people die by suicide every day, and men die by suicide at a rate three times higher than women. Unfortunately, suicide and mental health remain taboo topics, particularly among men. 

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In 2009, I had been locked up at home for 3 months […]. I was having repeated panic attacks […]. Especially as a man, I wasn’t going to get help. I was afraid of being judged.

Social Pressure on Men

From an early age, many men learn, often without realizing it, that they’re expected to be strong, independent and in control of their emotions. These social expectations around masculinity can make it more difficult to talk about emotional distress or ask for help.

In many settings, expressing sadness, fear or vulnerability is still seen as a sign of weakness, while reactions such as anger, irritability or social withdrawal tend to be accepted or overlooked in men.

Over time, the pressure to “stay strong” can lead some men to hide what they’re going through, cope alone or delay seeking support. Yet keeping emotional pain to yourself can deepen feelings of isolation, affect your mental health and, in some cases, contribute to suicidal thoughts. 

Talking about what you’re going through, asking for help or expressing your emotions are not signs of weakness. They are ways of taking care of yourself.

Men’s Mental Health: The Consequences of Isolation and Silence

When things aren’t going well, it can be tempting to keep it to yourself, withdraw from others or tell yourself that things will get better with time. You may also feel that talking to a loved one or a professional won’t change anything.

However, when emotional pain persists without support or an outlet, it can begin to take up more and more space in daily life. Over time, this can:
 

  • Deepen emotional distress
  • Make it harder to reach out for help
  • Affect relationships, work and daily activities
  • Contribute to the emergence of suicidal ideation


Even When You No Longer See a Way Out


For many, it can feel impossible to imagine feeling better during a dark period. Yet many people have overcome moments like these, as Jonathan Roberge shared in a 2024 interview with Barbara Leroux when discussing his own suicidal thoughts:

“I was about to do something irreversible. I have lived 15 wonderful years since then […]. I have two children. I’m happy […]. I can’t even imagine that I once thought about that. But when I was in that darkness, I couldn’t see a way out.”

What Can Lead to Suicidal Thoughts?

The reasons behind suicidal thoughts vary from person to person. However, certain life situations can increase emotional distress and contribute to their emergence, including:
 


Sometimes, emotional pain has no clear explanation. You don’t need to understand the exact cause of your distress before seeking support or taking action.

Taking Action: For Yourself and Others

Experiencing difficult periods is a normal part of life, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. During these times, taking action and doing things that support your well-being can make a real difference.

What does that look like in everyday life? There are many healthy ways to navigate difficult emotions: 
 

  • If you’re feeling angry, physical activities such as running or cycling can help.

  • If you’re feeling sad and think a good cry might help, watching a movie or listening to music that resonates with your emotions can provide an outlet.

  • Spending time with a family member, friend or loved one you trust can help you feel less alone.


By taking action and looking after your physical health, you can positively influence not only yourself but also those around you. 

Strength and Masculinity

Strength and courage can be valuable qualities. They can help us protect our loved ones, face challenges and adapt to difficult situations.

Imagine that an 18-wheeler loses control and is heading toward you on the highway. In a matter of seconds, you must react and perform a manoeuvre you have never attempted before to avoid a serious accident.

The same ability to adapt can be useful when facing emotional distress or suicidal thoughts. Strength and courage can help us step outside our comfort zone, ask for support and take action to care for our mental health.  

I'd like to talk to a consellor

“The strength of a man today [...] is also asking for help. [...] Asking for help is a sign of strength [...]  It made sense to be tough and not to cry when we were hunting mammoths [...], but now there are no mammoths left to hunt!"

Why Talk About It?

Talking can play an important role in recovery. Many people who have overcome difficult periods in their lives describe how speaking openly about what they were experiencing helped them feel understood and supported. 

In a 2024 interview with Marie-Claude Barrette, Jonathan Roberge spoke about the impact of opening up about his suicidal thoughts: 

“The moment I felt validated, I felt better.”  
 

Opening up can be difficult at first. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to people around you, specialized resources for men and trained professionals are available to help. 

 

To speak with a qualified counsellor: 
 

  • Text 53 53 53 

  • Chat with a counsellor on suicide.ca 

  • Call 1-866-277-3553 

Suffering is Temporary

It’s important to remember that suffering is temporary. And this is exactly what Michel Barrette shares. At 25, following a breakup, he experienced suicidal thoughts and could see no other way out, yet looking back, he understands that his distress was temporary. 

In an interview with Richard Martineau in Les Francs-Tireurs, 20 years after experiencing suicidal thoughts, Mr. Barrette said: “Today, I’m the happiest guy on Earth.” 

He adds that he wishes someone could have shown him what his future life would look like when he was experiencing those suicidal thoughts. 

Things You Can Do to Feel Better

If you’re not ready to talk about your situation, there are other steps you can take to support your well-being: