7 tips for supporting someone bereaved by suicide 

A loss by suicide can bring on a grieving process that is experienced in unique ways for each person that lives through it. Supporting a person who is bereaved by suicide can make a real difference. Here are some tips to care for someone you know who may be experiencing a loss by suicide. 

two-people-hugging

Was this content helpful to you?

Thanks

1. Be present and listen to the bereaved person 

Offer them the space to share how they feel and listen without judgment. Allow them to talk about their loss and the deceased, be it good or bad memories, their relationship, etc.  
 

It is legitimate to not know what to say in some instances and to feel powerless. Remember that you can show care just by listening and that a quiet presence can be enough, even without trying to solve the problem.  

2. Offer moments of light fun and help with daily tasks  

Each person has different needs, so you may want to ask the person what theirs are. In doing so, you are showing them their needs are valid and important and that talking about it can only contribute to getting help that is tailored to what they want.  

Here are some other helpful attitudes you can adopt :  
 

  • Encourage the person to socialize and not isolate themselves. Discuss feasible steps they can take, like identifying who in their support network they can talk to or activities they’d like that are accessible to them. Always keep in mind the importance of respecting the person’s rhythm.  

  • Offer help with meals, cleaning, transport, child care, etc. 

  • Identify other people within their support network that can help in practical ways and act as a team to divide helpful tasks for the person.  

3. Be patient 

Even though emotional intensity will decrease with time, every bereavement process is unique and can vary in length. Grieving is a process in which a person must, among other things, get used to the loss of someone they care about and reorganise their everyday life without them. This takes time. It’s highly probable that the bereaved person needs support beyond the first few weeks. Sustainability may be preferable to quantity in terms of help offered to the bereaved person. It is possible that they feel better for a period, then relive negative emotions afterwards. It is therefore important to share and let the better times take up space, as well as stay present in the more difficult moments, regardless of how long ago the loss happened.  

 

4. Use the right words  

It’s important to be mindful of commonly used phrases that can minimize or hurt the person experiencing a loss. Here are some phrases to avoid :  
 

  • “It’ll get better.” 

  • “At least they aren’t suffering anymore.”  

  • “One day, this will all make sense.” 

  • “You should clean up a little, get groceries, etc.” 
     

There are different ways of communicating that may help the person feel more supported, listened to, and respected in their grieving process. Here are some examples of what can be said instead :  
 

  •  “How are you feeling today?” 

  •  “I haven’t been through what you’re going through, but know I am here for you.” 

  •  “Take the time you need. You’ll be able to do that task whenever you’re ready.” 

 

5. Suggest resources that can help 

It’s possible that the bereaved person needs professional help if their grieving process is more difficult. Here are some options you can tell them about. To get help, the person can : 
 

  • Contact suicide.ca’s chat or text services to speak to a counselor. This service is open 24/7 in Quebec.  

  • Contact the Quebec suicide prevention helpline by calling 1 866 APPELLE (277-3553). This line is accessible 24/7 everywhere in Quebec. It offers help to those thinking about suicide, those who are worried about someone considering suicide, and those bereaved by suicide.  

  • Contact their region's suicide prevention center. Many suicide prevention centers offer services to those grieving a loss by suicide.  

  • Contact the local community service center (CLSC) in their region. 

  • Call the Info-Social service (811, option 2).

6. Be attentive to signs of distress  

A person bereaved by suicide may also be considering suicide themselves. If you are worried about them or you notice certain signs of distress, ask them if they are thinking of suicide. Consult this section to know more about signs of distress and how to talk about suicide with someone you know.  

7. Take care of yourself 

Supporting someone bereaved by suicide can be emotionally exhausting. It is essential that you take care of yourself and respect your personal limits in the help you offer them.