5 Myths to deconstruct to better support someone considering suicide
Several myths shared about suicide or those considering suicide can influence the way we react to people who are experiencing distress. Some myths, for example, could imply that through our help, we might hurt the person who is thinking about suicide. In reality, we are much more likely to help than hinder someone we are worried about with our actions.
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Myth #1 : Only a health professional can help a person considering suicide
Reality : Everyone can help
Even without being a trained professional, we can help make a difference for a person considering suicide, all while respecting our own limits. knowing how to recognize the signs, opening up the dialog, listening to the person without judgment or referring them to resources are all ways we can support someone thinking about suicide.
At the same time, if we are worried about someone, it’s important not to keep it to ourselves. Depending on the situation, different resources exist that can help. (In fact, some can be found on our page, « supporting Someone in Difficulty », which is a tool that can be used to find the right service according to the situation at hand.) It is always possible to speak to a specialized counsellor who is always available.
Myth #2 : Talking about suicide with someone who is struggling should be avoided
Reality : One should not hesitate to talk about suicide with people who are struggling
It can be difficult to have a conversation about suicide with a loved one, but it’s by broaching the subject directly that we can better help them. Indeed, the best way to know if someone is thinking about suicide so they can get help is to ask them directly. By opening up the dialog and asking them this question, we aren’t encouraging them to put action to their thoughts, but rather opening the door for them to express their suffering.
If a person is thinking of suicide, they will be able to speak more openly about their experience and feel less alone. Suicide is still taboo and stigmatized, so people considering suicide don’t always know who to talk to or how. So even if it can be difficult, it’s important to be proactive and talk about suicide. In fact, there are many ways to do so with loved ones.
Myth #3 : we should let a person considering suicide ask for help on their own
Reality : A person considering suicide doesn’t always have the reflex to ask for help
A person thinking about suicide might have trouble believing that they can be helped and that their situation can possibly change. This is part of how the suicidal dynamic works and it’s what can sometimes keep a person from asking for help on their own. So, being proactive and reaching out to them is essential in order to break their isolation. Simply accompanying someone in their efforts to get help, which can seem like an obstacle to them, can make a huge difference.
No studies have shown that interventions with people who have sought help themselves are more effective than those with people who were offered them. That’s why it’s useful to know how to support a loved one in need.
Myth #4 : Deaths by suicide happen without warning
Reality : People who are considering suicide generally show warning signs
This myth, that implies a suicide is a spontaneous act, supposes that it’s impossible to recognize people thinking about suicide and thus impossible to prevent suicide. On the contrary, since suicide is rarely a spontaneous act, there are recognizable signs that can be detected, even if they are difficult to ascertain. It could be messages the person expresses or changes in their behaviour or demeanor. So, to stay vigilant and help those who are vulnerable to suicide, it’s important to know how to recognize signs of psychological and suicidal distress.
Myth #5: Sudden improvement is a good sign
Reality : Sudden improvement can indicate danger
If someone thinking about suicide seems to suddenly be in a good mood, this does not mean they are necessarily doing better and no longer need help. This can sometimes indicate a certain danger; some deaths by suicide happen after a sudden improvement. The person can, for example, be in a better mood to reassure their loved ones or, if they have decided to take their own life, they may feel a certain relief thinking their suffering will soon be over. That’s why it’s important to remain vigilant. It’s a good idea to ask the person about what motivated these changes in behaviour.
Other myths about those considering suicide
Other myths circulate about people considering suicide. It’s important to not let them influence how we help our loved ones. Discover more about them in the article 5 myths about suicidal people.
